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This is the only phrase that comes to mind, “I am a failure”.
*The house is a constant battle*, *bills need to be paid*, *need to exercise*, *feeding time for kids & animals*, *need to prep. for teaching the kiddos*, *teach the kiddos*, *keeping up with organization & relationships*, *writing*, *unschooling myself*, *walk the danes, aka the beasts*…at all these things, I fail, am failing, have failed… epically.
People have a false sense about me. They think: I am a good woman, I am a kind person, I am successful in my endeavors, I am wildly adventurous. But, as I sit here in bed, 10:30am Sunday morning, with my messy, greasy hair up in a knot, I have around me: a mess of 1/2 done cleaning, a “TO DO” list that reaches infinity with pressing deadlines that are heavy against my shoulders & whispering into my conscience my inadequacies of time management, the fever riddled, fighting kiddos are teaching me that they require a supernatural patience, the fixer-upper home we have lovingly coined the Red Robber groans of how badly it needs fixing upping, The beasts jump with excitement letting me know I am waaay to late for feeding, the plants have tale-tale signs of needing to be transplanted into the unprepared garden, Then, my husband, marks this coming Tuesday on my too full calender as the day I need to yet again face my down my fear by climbing with our friends.
I know the truth. It is in the darkened corners of my mind, it waits with baited breath for me to speak aloud that I am the epitome of failing epically. I write the truth freely, but clamp my mouth shut, an old fear of the spoken word encircles my thoughts… the written word can change, but the spoken word can not.
I can not spiral into this plane of sadness & self pity. I have to accept that failure is not the end, but an opportunity to learn – how not to do it. I need to understand that nothing will get finished today, but things will get done.
My life as a wife & homeschool mother who writes, will not have nice little boxes to tick off as completed, finished forever; the way it did in school or when I had a career outside of the home. There is no prize at the finish line because there is no finish line, just like the laundry, it never ends. If I quit, and walked away, that would be the end of life as I know it; but, I do not want it to end.
Please Stop telling me that it is an elephant and to “eat it, bit by bit”! I do not want to just get through it. I want to be ever present. I think that means accepting the “TO DO” list will not ever be a clean slate. It will forever be added to as long as the sun rises and sets; there will be work to be done.
I should take joy in all my failures because as long as I am failing, I am doing.
For the week of 4/26/10 I implemented my younger child to practice a strategy not listed in the How to practice spelling post. I call this center the picture to bead spelling. This works great for him. I strung his spelling words together and seperated them by a colored bead. Then I found and printed silly pictures that matched his word. He independently goes over to his “center” and looks for words and matches it to the picture. He showed his grandfather on Saturday how well he could spell. My father then asked him, “how come you are spelling so well now?” To which my son replied, “oh, well let me show you my spelling word center.”
I love that it seems to work well for him. I love even more that he wanted to show off his new found ability.
looks like this one is a keeper.
This week (5/10/10) I had my oldest write her misspelled words from last week on some homemade sugar cookies with a food marker… She has not misspelled them again. My youngest had to be just like his big sis and write his words on cookies too. Spelling has become fun!
I am way behind on these journals!
The week of (3/8/11) My son was practicing his swat spelling. He preferred to call it knight killing spelling… hey, whatever gets him moving. This was a great game. I was having him look at pictures and write his spelling words beside them,and he was dragging his feet on this activity. He seemed to need another 8 hours of sleep, and then hopefully, he would wake up happier. When we hit walls like this in our classroom, I try to remember to change it up. Who cares if the worksheet gets completely filled in, our goal is to create life long learners… how is a worksheet in first grade going to produce that? (AIEEEE, Nicole! What about handwriting. What about the discipline of finishing what you start. Sometime, somewhere, there is going to be someone who will not let him stop; he’ll have to fill all the blanks in then. Is he even going to be able to, if you are always changing it when he’s bored!) Listen up, all you “must have the lines filled out the I’s dotted the T’s crossed”! The world & each day has multiple lessons to teach due diligence and handwriting; worksheets are not the way. If I want my son to even think about getting to higher level education, I must let him fall in love with learning now at his young age. Degrees are a labor of love, if he begins a hatred of school in 1st grade, how the heck am I even going to get him through 11 more years, before he even starts on his first degree? A dear friend’s words come to my mind now, He said to me ( he was well above 80 with a full, well traveled life, so he knew what he was talking about) “Nicole, don’t worry about the tests you fail, God will provide you with many more opportunities to pass it again.” I pass these words on to you now, homeschooling parents and friends, please take it to heart!
Summer Time is quickly approaching. Homeschool Parents differ in their approach as to whether or not to school during these months. I have always tried to take the approach that, all things are learning experiences. In this post, I am continually compiling a list sites that will incorporate education outside bought curriculum, Places to go and do and a few rewards for learning during the summer fever months.
Reward:
Reading is a reward itself, and those who love to read can earn money by signing up at half price books
GO & DO:
Planetarium in Killeen has programs including planetarium star shows, laser light shows and large format films.
Farmers Markets are wonderful exciting experiences. This is a great place to go and buy healthy & local. Here you can teach your children about sustainable communities and why we should buy/support local farmers.
Outside the boxed curriculum:
I LOVE the Museum of fine arts in Houston. They have wonderful programs for loan via mail, as well as great online support. Here are a couple of links that give you ideas on how to incorporate science, math, history with art!
Learning Through Art at the Museum of Fine Arts, Houston (LTA/MFAH) is an innovative, interdisciplinary, art-centered curriculum for grades 1–6. LTA/MFAH connects the museum’s collections of world art into the classroom curriculum for art, language arts, math, science, and social studies.
But don’t let the grade levels stop you, if your child has not had exposure and they are older, use it, even it they are high school level. I take leveled lesson plans with a grain of salt, they are easily modified to fit younger or older students. Word of advice, hide any evidence from you child about the grade level… They just do not need to know. It can cause anxiety if it is a harder level, or shame if it is a lower level. This defeats all purpose of learning. Remember, just because you don’t see the stress in them, does not mean it is not occurring.
Click hereto use MFAH’s FREE online lesson plan resource for interdisciplinary curriculums. Here you can search level and area of discipline.
Want to brush up on your geography? Perhaps you are planning a trip and you need some interactive games for them to play, check out this site by National Geographic Kids
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